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I Saw Mommy Being a Sl…

My wife, from time to time, brings things to my attention.

In this joyous time of year of holiday music, the popular "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" comes on the air. It's one of those cute-type songs sung from the child's point of view, seeing mommy kissing a man in a Santa Claus suit. While the child thinks it's Santa, we actually know that it's the child's father dressed up like Santa.

"Listen closer," says my wife. The child was supposed to be sleeping, but instead woke up and saw this rendezvous. The child seems to take her mother's infidelity rather well, wondering what her father would say if he had seen this. We laugh to our naive selves as we know that the father already knows, because he's the man in the suit.

OR IS HE?

"Think about it," says my wife. If the child was sleeping, why would her father dress up like Santa? You might dress up like Santa if you expected to see a child, but if it's nighttime, the kids should be tucked away in their beds, and if you're a father bothering to use the cover of darkness and late night times to bring presents into your house, why bother to dress up in the suit? Maybe a fun cap, but the whole outfit? Who does this?

There are only two explainations. Either it actually was Santa, or it was mommy's secret boyfriend paying a visit with the perfect disguise. Think about it. Daddy's working late on Christmas Eve. Mommy sees the perfect opportunity to unwrap a present of her own. If the kid happens to wake up and see this stranger (as it turns out happened), well, it's Santa! Mommy can get away with giving Santa a kiss! It's Santa! If it takes a kiss (or other things not fit for song) to get that DVD player or big screen TV on the list, then so be it. You know just about any 8 year old would sell out their parents for every present on their Christmas list. And who knows? It might be the way to get that little brother or sister on the list too.

Yeah, I know. That was horrible. You were expecting fine journalism?